Wednesday, 27 June 2007

Hmmm..How true!

When you're lazy and you know it
And you really want to show it
Then simply Copy-Paste

INDIAN NEWSPAPERS
The Times of India is read by people who run the country (Many feel it should be rightly called Ads of India).
The Statesman is read by the people who think they run the country.
The Hindu is read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
The Indian Express is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country.
The Telegraph is read by people who do not know who runs the country but are sure they are doing it wrong.
Mid-Day is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
The Economic Times is read by the people who own the country.
The Tribune is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run.
The Hindustan Times is read by the people who still think it is their country.
The Asian Age is read by the people who would rather be in another country

Saturday, 16 June 2007

Stumped!




Conscience Keeper suspects there is a lobby whose sole agenda is to cut trees. While he isn’t sure of their objective, he is convinced about their passion. He believes they plan in the dead of the night, hair askew, eyes wild, brandishing their axes, chorusing ‘Gida Gida, Dhikkara! Dhikkara!’ (Tree Tree. Shame! Shame!) and attacking any happy healthy tree in sight. I haven’t seen these men in action, but I have seen the end result, and it is quite bloody. Yesterday six beautiful young trees were chopped outside my office at posh Indiranagar. No one knows who did it and why they did it.

Co-incidentally, another friend mailed a similar story of random tree cutting at Koramangala outside the Levi’s showroom.

When the angry residents protested, the Levi’s country head sat down and wrote a rather nauseating letter. The writer herself has been kind enough to bold/underline the Really Funny parts.
Excerpts:

“I have checked once again. We have absolutely nothing to do with this act of felling – in fact, it had caught our team visiting the site by surprise one morning. We are an extremely responsible organization and would never even contemplate such acts. We are a significant partner in Parikrma, a school for destitute children; we have vocational programs with Unnati, a NGO working on empowering sections of society. We also work very closely with NGOs in the domain of HIV and AIDS awareness.

Let me re-iterate that no one from Levi Strauss and Co. have had anything to do with this act of felling the trees.
We would also be as open to meeting with you and try again and convince you that this organization is not one which would do such things just to benefit our store fa├žade – we would rather have dropped the location. We have strong terms of engagement with our associates and vendors and there have been umpteen cases when we have lost business but have not compromised on our values of “empathy, integrity, courage and originality”.

You have mentioned something about the shop benefiting from it – this is, as is often called, circumstantial logic. It means that if we were to go to the residences of all the people who have been writing on this topic, we would not find a single piece of “wooden furniture” – no beds, no dining tables, no chairs made of wood. Did any of you order the felling of the trees that this furniture came from? However (assuming that like most households, you have such furniture), you would have actually paid for buying and using furniture made of a large no. of felled trees! Should we then hold you responsible for ordering the felling of the trees that contributed to your living comforts?

However, as regards your taking this to the press/ authorities, it is a choice you have to make and I would respect your choice. This would actually bring things out in the open and give us another opportunity to explain to our consumers and associates that we have had no role to play in this and perhaps, to our mutual benefit, expose the perpetrator. As regards transplanting trees, we should meet anyway so that we can collaborate with your association and do some joint work on the same. We could actually get our whole organization mobilized on the same (we have 160 people working in Bangalore) and plan a “make Bangalore green” initiative. Just imagine – 2000 people across Bangalore planting 20000 saplings on one day! We would love to participate because globally as well, we are keenly looking at making our products completely environment friendly – using organic cotton, organically processed dyestuffs – the works!”
.............................................................................
Yes. Just Imagine...

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

Of Bad Writing and Worse Taste

My morning coffee-cum-newspaper session left a disgusting after-taste today. Perhaps it has something to do with what I was reading....

More than he could chew
Bangalore, dhns:
The sixth ACM magistrate sentenced a 28-year-old married man to four months imprisonment for biting his better half.Many years of marriage to Saraswati and two children later, Eswar was hell-bent on marrying his sister-in-law too. He pestered his wife to ‘mediate’ so he could wed her sister also. Eswar even started physical assaults on Saraswati to force her into a ‘compromising’ position.But Saraswati wouldn’t oblige. In fact, she had many quarrels with Eswar over the issue. In a fit of anger during the latest of hostilities, Eswar bit his wife. The bite, of course, was not the kind Vatsyayana or Kalyanamalla would have heartily recommended. For there was a considerable slice of flesh off his wife’s hand and ‘back’ in Eswar’s mouth after this naive attempt at persuasion. Neighbours who heard Saraswati screaming rushed to her rescue and reported the matter to police. HSR Layout police inspector Krishnappa said the “timely chargesheet” helped in Eswar’s conviction.
Ends//

Please Note 1: "not the kind Vatsyayana or Kalyanamalla would have HEARTILY recommended."
Please Note 2: This story appeared with cartoon illustration.
Please Note 3: And why, oh why, are 'mediate', 'compromising', 'back' and 'timely chargesheet' in quotes???!

Whoever would have thought this to be a sickening domestic abuse story!